Saturday, June 30, 2012

song indulgence

The demon snuck into the beer hall again
Unwanted intercom interruption
All is calm, all is bright
No savior, no mother, no child in the walk in freezer
Drunken demon vaccum
Misuse of plated nickel
Guess what? The neighborhood choir survived

Friday, June 29, 2012

hateful elmo

what it is: hateful elmo
where i found it: times square via the new york times

There are a lot of Spider Mans and Cookie Monsters and Elmos roaming around Times Square trying to make a buck. Word has it though that a hateful maniac has been hiding inside one of the Elmo suits, harangueing passers by about illegal immigrants, the jew and all other manner of evil. Where the tiny line between maniac and genius gets highlighted, though, is that it has been extremely difficult to catch him, because he looks identical to all the other Elmos. So you never know if you'll get a sweet and high sqeaky voice to thrill your kids or a livid guy screaming at you about your many and obvious shortcomings. I wish so much that I had thought of that.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

how to get a teepee to resonate, etc.

what it is: how to get a teepee to resonate, etc.
where i found it: the timothy leary archives

A transcript was unearthed last week and posted on the Timothy Leary Archives of a bed-in conversation between Tim/Rosemary Leary and John Lennon/Yoko Ono. Learn how to make a teepee resonate at maximum drone, "sus out" the wind and set up neuro-geographic levels of consciousness including one that is Tolkein like. I'm not kidding. 

looks like tommy smothers and his banjo somehow crept onto the scene as well

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

german pneumonia

what it is: german pneumonia
where he found it: out on the road

Word has it that psychedelic warlord guitarist Tom Carter has been in a German hospital for the past month or so after contracting a heavy duty case of pneumonia. The is no word on when he may emerge, but you can be sure there will be some anxiously waiting medical bill collectors when he does. Benefits have been popping up recently, as has this website, where you can donate in a few different capacities. Tom is the only person I know that can accurately recite 13th Floor Elevator lyrics at great length (I'm pretty sure Roky Erikson doesn't rememeber them). Get well soon.

PS - If you want to hear some of Tom's sounds, here's a link to some heavy collabo stuff he did with NNCK's Pat Murano a month or so ago.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

no parmesan on your parmesan

what it is: no parmesan on your parmesan
where i found it: subway

There are few eating choices in the neighborhood where I work (exceptions include several combination fried chicken/chinese food/pizza places with bulletproof glass surrounding the employees and a Dominican fish steam table with a health grade of C), so yesterday I opted for Subway, as they were advertising a delicious looking Eggplant Parmesan hero. When it came time for the cheese the little Indian man politely asked me if I would like cheddar, provolone or Swiss. I said it's an eggplant parmesan, so I'd like parmesan and he looked at me like I was an asshole. They don't carry that.

Friday, June 22, 2012

if you dig japanese noise music . . .

what it is: japanese noise music compilation/family tree
where i found it: the grapevine

Any spelunking I've done into Japanese noise music has usually yielded similar results: Merzbow and early Boredoms = the best; the rest is just too overwhelming to deal with. Fortunately for us lazy people, C Spencer Yeh (the guy who is Burning Star Core) has been nice enough to share an old college project he did, resulting in not only a compilation to be streamed on a relaxing Saturday afternoon, but a hand written family tree. Here's the link. The site on which it is posted, Rhizome, is also worthy of broader exploration.

By the way, someone I know went to the Merzbow show in Brooklyn earlier this week. Supposedly he played ukulele the whole time.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

trying not to steal

what it is: trying not to steal
where i found it: music industry armageddon

This here is a fairly well written and thoughtful essay that makes me want to stick to my pre-existing plan to only download music for free if it's one of those impossible to find black metal cassettes made by some guy in Eastern Europe packaged in an animal corpse and limited to 1/2 copy.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

animal heads with human bodies

what it is: three good albums featuring animal heads with human bodies
where i found it: different times and places

These three albums have little to do with each other other than that I like them and they feature animal heads with human bodies.

trout mask replica

laptops and martinis

the trials of van occupanther

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

great bagpipe moves

what it is: great bagpipe moves
where i found it: a town square, probably in australia

Simultaneously notable for great bagpipe-guitar teamwork.

Monday, June 18, 2012

the secret life of plants

Highly psychedelic Stevie Wonder scored movie about evolution and plant consciousness. Why would you not take the afternoon to watch this?

Saturday, June 16, 2012


what it is: a good frank zappa movie
where i found it: mr b beatrice of new jersey

While there are a few too many music industry doofuses and rambling yarns from Jimmy Carl Black, this here is a pretty damned good movie about Frank Zappa. Great early TV appearances, first person accounts of grueling/fly by the seat of your pants music learning and some very impressive performance clips are all included. I've always found Zappa to be excellent beneath the stupid humor and extended marimba passages, despite his discography being kind overwhelming and hard to sort through.  If you have any curiosity about the guy and his music this is most definitely worth a watch. If the youtube serial format bums you out, you can get it through netflix (though it's no longer streaming). Enjoy.

Friday, June 15, 2012

bacon sundae

what it is: a bacon sundae
where i found it: everywhere i look

In case you have not heard, Burger King is offering bacon sundaes this Summer: a bowl of ice cream with bacon bits and a bacon strip poking out of the top. It would seem there's not much to say about this other than that it sound fucking disgusting. However, all sorts of commentary is popping up in every nook and cranny. The worst I've seen is a debate between "foodies", one side praising Burger King's forward thinking-ness and the other side yelling that bacon deserts are way over and that BK is shamefully trend riding and behind the ball. Mercifully, I was not previously aware of this trend and would have preferred to stay that way, but as I have been violated so now have you.

If you really want to read more on this topic here's one of the bacon-is-over commentators, though he at least has enough insight to say "let's not forget that there's a strong chance this thing will suck".

Thursday, June 14, 2012

song indulgence

Over the hills come some warriors
I thought they would behead us,
But they just pointed out a groovy sunset

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

the hearse returns

what it is: cosmic hearse returns
where i found it: i can't remember

After several months of silence, one of my favorite music blogs, Cosmic Hearse, is back in action. After the Feds recently shut down a few file sharing sights a number of these kinds of blogs (usually offering a downloadable album a day, with commentary) went south. Apparently not the Hearse. If you've never had the pleasure of this guy's extremely esoteric album selections and thoughtful explusions, here's a (longer than usual) sample from yesterday:

I think it's about time for another obscure compilation of spotty Heavy metal. Metallic Storm first dropped in 1982 courtesy of Ebony Records out of the UK. As far as I can tell, Ebony's sole output was a myriad of slapdash samplers of lesser known NWOBHM and Hard Rock, usually peppered with a few hidden gems, Metallic Storm, however, packs a lot of rough diamonds, and an early appearance by a young band from Denmark calling themselves Mercyful Fate. Following the King and his plucky pack of Danes comes the Econo-Judas Priest via Sunset Strip coke pablum from Tantrum, no thanks. Scimitar deliver an awesome charmer of a NWOBHM style tune called "That's The Way I Want It To Be." The unappealingly named Tarot Sutra contribute a clumsy 70's rocker that brings to mind images of wood -paneled dens, dirt weed and high school talent contests. Mean Machine are a hot mess of AC/DC-esque biker drool. I fucking love them. Confessor (not that one) are up next with an oddball keyboard and flange-slathered number that kind of comes off like W.A.S.P. meets The Stranglers. Jury show up in a glittery coke chariot of AOR schmaltz, but still not terrible. Wells Fargo (the band, not the bank) are pretty bad all around, but still better than Tantrum, they sound kind of drunk, I dig 'em. Mercinary are the blandest of the bunch, no real magic. Wykkyd Vikker are as corny as their name would indicate.  Pentapus kind of sound like the younger brothers of those dirtbags in Mean Machine with their very NWOBHMish bath tub amphetamine scooter bitch rock. Detroit border on some cummy booger sugar mean street meandering with a confusing number called "USA Light," but even this one is pretty enjoyable, sleazy, poorly recorded... what's not to like. Moby Dick aren't nearly as heavy or dicky as their name might indicate, but their peppy AOR inspired pop metal is pretty infectious. All in all, Metallic Storm is a ridiculously fun listen, with every band (with the exception of Tantrum) offering something of value in their material. Also it almost seems that every band (with the exception of Mercyful Fate) are drunk. Metallic Storm may be a great album to get absolutely blotto blackout with. I fucking love this record. I think you will too.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

talkin pedal steel shop

what it is: talkin pedal steel shop
where i found it: the south

If you like watchin some nice old boys sittin round the navaho carpet and talkin shop about pedal steel this series of videos is for you. Old nashville cats making jokes ("who's in that dark car must be the poe-lease", "i like suckin up to an old ham sandwich", etc.) and talking tunings. Maybe not for everyone, but I enjoy it.

If you want to look up subsequent volumes on youtube it's called Legends of Steel Guitar.

Monday, June 11, 2012

more about english

what it is: what american english sound like when you don't speak american english
where i found it: mr. a dubin of new jersey

Following up from yesterday's posts on garbled English, here's a video that shows what American English sounds like to people who don't speak it. It is also weird and Italian.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

thinking america is cool or something II

what it is: thinking america is cool or something II
where i found it: 'net hunting

This example is more mean spirited than the previous post. Watch these well dressed, cruel Koreans mock/make fun of another Korean using English words as weapons (while one of their friends films).
I don't quite get the vibe: Are they thinking they are cool because of their English skills? Are they making fun of her and English at the same time?  Why doesn't she just say Americans are assholes and so are you?
By the way, where is shit?

Friday, June 8, 2012

thinking america is cool or something

what it is: thinking america is cool or something
where i found it: korean t shirt manufacturers

One of my favorite things about non-Western countries is the way they butcher American brands. While I saw this to a minor extent when I visited Africa (Abibas sportswear, etc.), they don't have shit on Korea, where American imagery and phrases regularly get put into a blender. While there I badly wanted to buy some garments printed with utter nonsense, but my bag was full.
For years my immigrant wife has been wearing this T Shirt around the house, which I never paid a whole lot of attention to. But then I did.

This is probably the only T-shirt where Florida State and University of Wisconsin share a logo. It also give both schools the magisterial motto "someone is feeling".

Also last year, when my mother in law came to visit, she brought us the below sweatshirt. My best guess is that the flannel land mass is Manhattan, but turned on it's side.

So, why?

Thursday, June 7, 2012

i thought you would have been dead

what it is: mr. trololololololololololololololololololololo dies
where i found it: e sibley of india

One of my favorite internet creeps just died. I had assumed he was long since dead (based on his antiquated,  inhuman, otherworldly, corpse-like appearance), so I was surprised to see his obituary, particularly in the New York Times. If you don't know who I'm talking about please see below:

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

song indulgence

What am I in a haunted house?
Where did they find these precision bass monsters?
I'm ten feet high on top of a violin slip and slide.
Watch that oboe! Oh no, the pizzicatto!
Velvet carpet harmony time. No wait haunted house!
How does this all work together again?
Trampoline dream chamber let me go!
Syncopated road blockade, flute soft murder falsetto, excellent drum fill burrito.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

they're really good with vinegar

what it is: a dispatch from reader jpw
where i found it: my inbox

I thought this first person Long John Silvers review might be of interest to your readers.  It is unlike anything I have ever seen and really captures the experience of eating Long John Silver's with a blue ray copy of Scarface nearby.  There is a great moment halfway through where the reviewer resorts to visual cues to determine weather he is eating fish or chicken.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

disease to the infidels!

what it is: disease to the infidels!
where i found it: the middle ages

I've been out of health insurance for a little while and an unsettle-ingly Christian relative recently pointed me in the direction of these Jesus centric health co-ops. It provides really affordable health coverage as long as:

1) you pray every night
2) you are not a homosexual
3) you attend "group worship"
4) you pledge not to have sex outside of (heterosexual) wedlock
4) you follow biblical principles regarding drug use (what does that mean?)
5) you have a testimony on record about your personal relationship to J.C.
6) you're not a Jew

The flip side of this is of course that if you fit into any of the forbidden groups that you don't deserve to be part of their club or participate in their health plan (also read: fuck off and die, non-fundamentalist-Christians)
Aside from the fact that as a faith based initiative they aren't required to actually have any financial reserves to pay your bills if you get sick, they can also decide not to pay you for any reason they arbitrarily decide (which is actually not that different than regular health coverage). You also get a free months of coverage for every new member you bring in. Hmm. Ponzi scheme?

I'm not so sure that Jesus would approve of all this.

I guess I'm also curious about what would happen if some people got together, flipped the coin and started a health plan where no Christians were allowed. Anyone in?

bibilical approach to healthcare
samaritan membership requirements

Friday, June 1, 2012

the shape of prison

what it is: the shape of prison
where i found it: the atlantic

Some grad student has put together a huge collection of the shapes of US prisons. It's pretty stunning to look at. See here.

I kind of prefer the images on their own, but if you care about the concept/back story you can read an article about the project here.