Friday, August 31, 2012

engrish

what it is: engrish
where i found it: mr a. levy of atlanta

Here's a sight that's good for about five minutes of cackling: www.engrish.com

Dedicated to jumbled, wrong and unfortunate uses of English by non-English speakers. Kind of similar to a post I did about Korean t-shirts a long time ago, but here it's all in one place. They ruin it a little bit though with taglines that attempt to be clever. Ignore those. Highlights:

a Seoul restaurant named Bill Cosby






Thursday, August 30, 2012

ghillie suits

what it is: ghillie suits
where i found it: the great, horribly named boingboing

I semi-hate to be a blogging bottom feeder, but I cannot not repost this.

At first I thought that was just a bigfoot costume, but a little research shows that it's actually a legitimate form of camouflage called a ghillie suit, also known as a yowie suit or camo tent. I could look at these image search results all day.


ghillie suit mixed with quaaludes

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

more mystifying "music"

what it is: more mystifying "music"
where i found it: ubu web and elsewhere

Last week I posted about some graphic scores and a collection of fluxus stuff. My kick along these lines continues with a book I scored which collects all the issues of Source Magazine, an unbelievably good publication from the late 70s/early 80s that consists of interviews, graphic scores, crazy conceptual statements and exercises in audacity. Due to it's diversity from page to page it's hard to sum up, but you can expect things like complex and impossible exercises designed by a young Pauline Oliveros and Nam June Paik asking performers to systematically stick their penises through a screen.

UBU web has been nice enough to collect some of the related musics here, but I would say that the process of a lot of these pieces is often more compelling than the product. They also go as far as to call this "the greatest publication ever on avant garde music". Unfortunately the book doesn't include the 10" LPs originally enclosed in the issues or the scores that were enclosed in mylar and fur. Well, you can't have everything.

Monday, August 27, 2012

bye bye tom

This one is for Tom Bruno, who never failed to say "hey guy!" whenever he saw me.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

remain in light

what it is: remain in light
where i found it: in a roundabout way

Not until recently had I listened to the entirety of the Talking Head's Remain in Light. Now I'm obsessed. Recorded after members of the band had taken up voodoo, mutinied against David Byrne's leadership and decided that small repeated bursts of music were the way to go (now known as sampling and infesting every crevice of music) this thing is dense, writhing, woven, addictive and hyper (in a good way). Here's a pretty out of control live clip from around that time that ought to get everyone on board who wasn't already:


And here's THE WHOLE RECORD

And if you're really dorking out, here's PHISH PLAYING THE WHOLE RECORD


Friday, August 24, 2012

atrocities

what it is: atrocities
where i found it: various sources

I am sorry to do this to you, but I have to point you in two disgusting directions: blue waffles and krokodil. These two subject are not safe for work nor are they safe for any area close to the realm of human decency. Blue Waffle need only be googled. Krokodil is a new homemade opiate derivative with the unfortunate side effect of eating your flesh. It's big in Russia. If you're brave you can look up some pictures. Ugh.

why is he holding a baby doll?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

foot shooting party, etc.

what it is: foot shooting party, etc.
where i found it: baby brother

I've been reading Greg "Baby Brother" Allman's new auto bio, which is generally kind of red-necky, misogynistic and closed mouthed about the actual music (which isn't too hard to dissect in the first place). However it's worth picking up for a few highlights like:

1) "Baby brother" blowing a hole in his foot at a "foot shooting party" to avoid the Army
2) An afternoon of pill fueled sex - surviving a home invasion - more pill fueled sex
3) Taking acid while alone and dog sitting for John Densmore's girlfriend, only to have the dog start giving birth, only for Jim Morrison to suddenly walk in, only for Baby Brother to not be able to shake his hand due to overabundance of "puppy juice".

believe it or not, an actual album cover

Later, Allman teams up with Cher, bragging of the "serious love" they made together, a love which resulted in the above album, Two the Hard Way, which subsuently gave birth to the below Wikipedia entry:

Two the Hard Way is a studio album by American singer-actress Cher and American rock singer Gregg Allman released in November 1977 by Warner Bros. Records. The album, billed to "Allman and Woman", was a critical and commercial failure and has sold less than 550,000 copies worldwide.

The product of the two singers' unlikely and turbulent relationship and marriage, it attempted an even more unlikely musical melding of Allman's Southern rock with Cher's idiosyncratic, personality-driven pop. The uncharacteristically airblown cover notwithstanding, Allman's musical ideas and singing generally took the lead.

The album was not well-received; the 1979 Rolling Stone Record Guide said "It's hard to imagine a more inappropriate combination ... It's the bottom of the barrel after a long fall for Gregg, and more of the same for Cher," and rated the album "Worthless". Two the Hard Way was not a commercial success either; by the time the 1983 edition of the same guide had come out, the album was out of print. The album has never been released on CD or iTunes.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

more absurd than the shovel

what it is: more absurd than a shovel
where i found it: mystery neuser of brooklyn

The only thing more absurd than the guy with the shovel (who I love) is that this appears to be some kind of pre-composed song

Here we have the same blokes, much older and much cleaner, but still yelling into a lap steel. I also enjoy their four part vocal harmony.

I'm also reminded of a FM Einheit/Casper Brotzmann gig I saw down in Texas one time which involved Einheit smashing rocks on sheet metal for all of twenty seconds before an audience member sprayed a fire extinguisher in his face. The rest of the "show" was Einheit standing there, hands by his sides, blinded and screaming until they could wash his eyes out.  Industrial sacrifice.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

mystifying "music"

what it is: mystifying "music"
where i found it: not sure

tom johnson's imaginary music #65

Somehow or another I came across this Chinese site, where you can see a variety of mystifying musical notations. Most of the scores are interesting to look at, some even beautiful. I guess the obvious question for pretty much every one of them is "what the hell would this sound like?"

Along the same trajectory I managed to find this PDF of a Fluxus "workbook", a compendium of conceptual compositions, often ridiculous and/or grueling. I hope every person who reads this performs at least one of them, even if they're alone in their bedroom.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

this too

While we're on the subject of documentaries dealing with possibly mentally ill disciplinarian musical genius pseudo cult leaders existing on the fringes (or maybe at the center of) latter twentieth century happenings, maybe you should watch this too.


Monday, August 13, 2012

here we go again

what it is: back down the sun ra hole
where i found it: was transmitted from another planet

Every three or four years I find myself falling back down into the Sun Ra wormhole. I feel it happening again. The other night I made the mistake of spending some time with a music obsessed Texan recently in the throes of a Sun Ra phase who reminded me of the film Joyful Noise, a great one that I once wore out on VHS, now available on youtube.  I'm not going to say anything else. Just watch it.


If it suits you better here's a more linear, academic, processed take on the world of Ra.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

mideast conflict comes to the suburbs

what it is: mideast conflict comes to the suburbs
where i found it: the commuter train

In the last week or two someone has been buying a lot of media space on NYC commuter train platforms (of all places) to convince us that Israel is right no Palestine is right no Israel is right. I'm not sure who these ads are trying to convince or that they will change anyone's mind about anything, but they sure are heavy handed and kind of odd. And they are on every single platform. Here are a few examples:

took me a minute to figure out that it's a islam-realism combo


the Palestinians hit back
the Israelis hit back yet again, guerrilla style

Friday, August 10, 2012

the sun as your painting partner

what it is: the sun as your painting partner
where i found it: see below

I've been reading this book called Draw It With Your Eyes Closed: The Art of the Art Assignment, which collects a ton of different art exercises assigned by a variety of (usually college) art teachers. Some are pretentious, some are painfully lame and some are excellent. My favorite so far (or at least my adaptation of it) involves going out in the burning hot sun and making paintings on scorching asphalt with a brush and water, watching them quickly evaporate. While clearly part of the point is being faced with impermanence, if any reader wants to go out and get your ass sunburned while photographing your evaporating water paintings I'll be happy to post them.


Thursday, August 9, 2012

infanitle responses

what it is: infantile responses
where i found it: in response to the other day's parenting post


I got hit with a couple of weird responses after I posted about Nap Time baby spray the other day. This first one is a comment that seems to probably be robotically fired at any blogger that mentions "parenting", offering to change the sex of your baby for a low fee:

Hello mates, its enormous post about tutoringand entirely explained, keep it
up all the time. My website >
www.PlanMybabyScam.org


The second response turned me in the direction of this weird video about Dolphin midwives, which is strange and kind of horrifying. Spend some time with the comments. Who are these people?

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

finanical district style

what it is: financial district style
where i found it : mr a. levy of atlanta

Ah, a preposterous video in my inbox! Here we have an absurd South Korean music video in which particpants sing the praises of "Gangam style" which refers to the area south of the Han river with lots of banking towers and rich people. I've been there is this is really how everyone acts.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

mean spirited parenting entertainment

what it is: mean spirited parenting entertainment
where i found it: mr. a dubin of new jersey

The other night I was complaining of an episode in which my kid whined and screamed because he wanted something trivial (to me) so much that he puked.  This product was then recommended.

Monday, August 6, 2012

people failing

what it is: people failing
where i found it: mr. a dubin of new jersey

Do you like to watch people fail? Like, a lot of people failing? In all kinds of situations? Then I must insist that you google "fails compilation". Some "not safe for work" fails are included, in case you care.


Friday, August 3, 2012

cavett

what it is: cavett
where i found it: the 1970s


I've been watching a lot of Dick Cavett's intelligent, nervous ass recently. You should too. Interviews with all kinds of interesting notables from the 70s, some great performances by Jimi Hendrix, etc. and an open give and take style that doesn't seem to have any televised parallel that I know of these days. Teri Gross from Fresh Air comes close, but that's not televised, is it? His infectious voice has been stuck way back in my head since my dad used to be a regular watcher of the original broadcasts.

Here's a good place to start: Cavett Lennon Ono

Also, to flip it around: here's a semi-jackass interviewing DC where he discusses, among other things, having to interview Lawrence Olivier while under the gun of a paralyzing depression.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

rap on a budget

what it is: rap on a budget
where i found it: like so many other things, WFMU

While we're on the subject of mystifying rap music, scrolling through the WFMU blog I found this post about a bottom of the barrel, but outstanding Memphis rapper named Tommy Wright III. Static ridden, overloaded, poorly miked and without much of a concept (other than saying is own name a bunch of times), I love him very much.

The guy who posted this reports having found it on a now "out of business" blog called Twankle and Glisten (in case you don't get it, "twankle" is Southern for twinkle), which I took a look at long enough to realize that I should back away from such a deep, dark chasm before falling in.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

miracles

what it is: a preposterous ode to miracles
where i found it: i have no clue how or why i ended up watching this

I guess if you follow Insane Clown Posse and their army of Jugalos, you already knew about this. Not one for Midwestern nihilist drug fueled horror rap, I had not seen it before. It appears these guys took a short break from gore rhymes and misogyny to appreciate the finer things in life such as "fuckin rainbows after it rains", crows, "everything chillin' under water", magnets and CGI that can allow you to fly out of your wife's womb as a full grown floating man. Despite the clown paint they appear to be totally serious. The word "absurd" can't begin to describe this. Magic everywhere in this bitch.