Monday, November 12, 2012

interview #4 - texan jeff

The Mr. Becos interview series continues with Jeff, a Texas lab technician and professional wrestling fan who regularly mails boxes of crap to Mr. Becos so he has something to write about.

Mr. Becos: I understand that at one time you believed that you were being attacked by witches.

Texan Jeff: It was my only experience hallucinating which wasn't drug related. I had a really high fever and my leg turned red and black. For some reason I told the ER nurse I was bit by an asp.

Mr. Becos: That could be the complete interview, but I'm going to proceed. You are a veteran of the Gulf War. Do you think this "asp bite" could have been related to the elusive but much discussed Gulf War Syndrome?

Texan Jeff: I work in a hospital lab so I try not to dwell on what it could be. I spent a few weeks in the hospital on that occasion and exactly two years later it hit me again. They have no idea what caused it. This Christmas will be two years since the last time it hit. I'll keep you posted.  I have a theory that it's caused by toxic  mosquito spray. When I was a kid these trucks would drive around spraying an awful toxic spray to kill the mosquitos.  The goal was to run with the truck and see how long you could keep in the fog. I was pretty much city champ.

Mr. Becos: We had the same game in my neighborhood. I never made it very far because I was a pussy. What kind work do you do in this lab?

Texan Jeff: I'm a lab tech. I spend my day looking through a microscope.  The great thing is I have little contact with other humans and I'm free to listen to the music of my choosing.  The bad part is I've voluntarily sentenced myself to being around other people's body fluids and I have to witness people dealing with some truly awful shit.

Mr. Becos: What's the worst disease you've been in close contact with?

Texan Jeff: Humans on meth. 

Mr. Becos: With all if this labratorial musical freedom, what are some recent selections?

Texan Jeff: I've spent most of the week listening to Milton Brown and his Musical Brownies. The only other thing I've listened to is the Elvin Jones Blue Note stuff.  I just read that Milton Brown was narcoleptic! Its a shame he died so young.

Mr. Becos: From what I understand he fell asleep behind the wheel (with an underage girl in the car) and died from complications of the accident. You recently visited NYC and bicycled to every Sun Ra landmark you could find. For those of us with less investigative skills and poor stamina can you fill us in on some of the highlights?

Texan Jeff: If you have narcolepsy and have been drinking let the underage girl drive!  I was lucky enough  to be bicycling with a friend who knew all the Sun Ra spots. I loved the sun palace in the east village where the whole entourage stayed.  In the same neighborhood as a Hells Angels chapter!  Its crazy to imagine them in their costumes walking among the bikers to Slug's saloon.  That place is a pastry shop now. It's tiny. I can't even begin to imagine what Sun Ra or Albert Ayler sounded like in there.  Not to mention seeing Lee Morgan get murdered while performing.

Mr. Becos: They say that his jealous wife shot him in mid-solo. They also say that you used to make weird paintings and nail them to telephone poles around town. Are you still keeping up the good work?

Texan Jeff: She should have let him finish the solo. I quit poisoning the neighborhood when I moved back to the Texas panhandle. Besides, Stanley Marsh has the market cornered on putting up fake signs and art around town.  There are tons of billboards with quotes from Jesus that are begging to be defaced. 

Mr. Becos: There are few interviewees I could or would ask this question of, but what is your favorite Ric Flair pre-match speech?

Texan Jeff: The reunification of the Four Horsemen inspired some of Flair's best moments.  I'll always remember him invoking the Peaches and Herb song, Reunited and it feels SO good.  I just came across Ric Flair as the wanderer.
Mr. Becos: I've actually been to that venue in Atlanta to see WCW (when it still existed). As you can tell from the crowd acoustics, it's incredibly small. Do you have any insight as to why Flair's nick name is "Space Mountain"?

Texan Jeff: There wasn't any reason for the ladies to spend money at Disney to ride Space Mountain when the Nature Boy was in town. Here's an invitation to ride space mountain with a parental advisory included.
Mr. Becos: If one of our readers decides to visit the panhandle of Texas, what kinds of things could they expect to see?

Texan Jeff: For sure they will get to see lots of dust and feel a wind storm or two.  If they get lucky they might get to meet some kind people. But, I wouldn't bet on that.  More than likely they"ll bump into someone that is god fearing, angry and mean.  If they are really unlucky they will meet someone with a head full of meth. We do have the beautiful Palo Duro and Caprock Canyons. So, come on down! Our local law enforcement will be waiting for you.