Saturday, November 29, 2014

we got a date

what it is: we got a date
where i found it: west virginia

When you're married and have kids it sure is hard to go on a date. My wife and I have been trying to find time to get out on the town for a few months now. When tried a few weeks ago the kid fell at a Halloween parade and we ended up watching him get stitches at the ER instead. Now that we've rescheduled for this evening, I'd like to mark the occasion by listening to THIS TUNE about twelve times. 


Friday, November 28, 2014

bizarre metal tv confluences

what it is: bizarre metal tv confluences
where i found it: guitarist friend

Here's a weird clip of KERRY KING ON JAPANESE TV co-staring with the ex-Megadeth guitarist Marty Friedman who seems to be the regular host of this show (and is speaking Japanese). This is a truly bizarre confluence of cultural components.

Then it's only a short jump to THIS CLIP, where Megadeth's Dave Mustaine delivers some of the worst, least enjoyable vocals I've ever heard. And Paul Shaeffer sits in on harmonica.

Then we have AN INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO video from Gary Holt of Exodus (and more recently, Slayer). He appears to be completely stoned and demonstrates "guitar violence" AKA inconsequential guitar runs and atonal nausea in front of visual backgrounds such as ocean waves, battleships, brass knuckles and landfills. Watch and learn.


Thursday, November 27, 2014

turkey/turkey

what it is: turkey vs. sweden
where i found it: the 90s

While trying to think of clever ways to play on turkey (bird) and turkey (country) I remembered the old Hatten Ar Din video from the 90s. In case you did not know this important fact, phonetically Arabic sounds a lot like Swedish, though the meanings of the sounds are completely different in the two languages. Some Swedish joker took this Arabic song, translated what the phonemes meant to a Swede and lyrical magic occurs (see excerpts below, but please don't skip the video). It actually turns out that the song originates in Lebanon, not Turkey, but now I've already typed all of this.



The hat is living it up,
The hat is living it up

This is hopeless
We find this is becoming gay
It was always fun

Cool guy holding a soda
Yes, that's what we like - something sweet

Borrow the LP "The hat is yours"
You can dress up and make out on TV

Borrow the LP "The hat is yours"
You can do drugs and end up on TV

Yes, the hat is yours, yours!
Yes, the hat is yours, yours!

Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect

Glue piece of ham, cool.
Glue piece of ham, cool, cool.

The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby

The hat is yours, the hat is yours
The hat is yours, hat-baby

Lalalalalalala
LALALALALALALA...

the hat is yours

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

another day . . .

what it is: another day . . .
where i found it: earth

Another day on this Earth has brought me into contact with two new wonderful things: Twi gospel music and a buffalo scrotum cooler.

I'm lucky enough to be working with a Pentacostal Christian Ghanan who just loves Twi gospel music. I've heard a smattering of this stuff before, but today I got turned on the abrasive motivational sermons of Cecilia Marfo, who seems to be saying in Twi "worship Jesus, do good deeds, and believe in yourself or I will kick the shit out of you". Check out one of her charismatic sermons HERE.

A totally separate encounter led me to the existence of this unusual holiday gift item: a buffalo scrotum cooler. This find was the result of a discussion regarding whether humans had ever drank from buffalo scrotums as they often have from goat wineskins. Google search led to THIS SITE, which offers "natural exotic gifts" such as buffalo scrotum coolers (though no scrotal drinking vessels), rattlesnake skull spirit catchers, and sculptures made from animal penises. If you scroll to the bottom of the page you'll also see that for a limited time you get a free coon dick with every purchase!

"natural exotic gift" example



Monday, November 24, 2014

udumakalu

what it is: udumakalu
where i found it: the net

If you want to read an interesting and unusual blog, I recommend taking a look at this one: UDUMAKALU. Primarily presenting as an African news blog, the guy who curates it (who happens to be the Nigerian literary editor of the Guardian) seems to have strange taste, interspersing phenomenon amongst the headlines such as a man who has patented a process for turning urine into flammable gas, an effort to collect radiators for Africa, theories about how to keep ladies satisfied, and pastors who gather women on the beach to kiss their asses. Enjoy.


Thursday, November 20, 2014

throwing bottles at freedom

what it is: throwing bottles at freedom
where i found it: the berlin wall

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

intense elvis footage

what it is: intense elvis footage
where i found it: my dad

Largely unprompted, my dad forwarded me THIS ELVIS FOOTAGE. Apparently it's newly released with the wholly disoriented intro. Either way it's super intense as we watch him burn through the atmosphere of Unchained Melody towards his nigh fate. I like to imagine him rehearsing this on the organ that's situated next to the racketball court in the Graceland basement.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

viral

what it is: viral
where i found it: in recent days

Two big viral things in recent days include Ebola, which you probably know all about, and Too Many Cooks, the amazingly ridiculous video from Adult Swim that is being emailed 999,999,999 times a second around the internet. Perhaps this video is old news, meaning from three days ago, but I love it so much that I have to post it here. Multiple viewings reveal more interesting detail. Not safe for work, by the way.


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a guy gazes at the front of bellevue hospital, hoping to see ebola

Friday, November 7, 2014

halloween hasn't stopped yet

what it is: halloween hasn't stopped yet
where i found it: mostly in england

A week ago one of my associates posted a halloween mix that I can't stop rotating. Mostly metal, much of the older Brittish sort, this thing will make you want to be a witch. Because witches have the best music. And their admirers have the best band names (Witchfynde, Witchcraft, Candlemass, Pagan Altar, Angelwitch, Witchfinder General, you get the idea). HERE's a link where you can download this monster.

In the wake of this mix I've been engaged in some extracurricular listening, including a couple of full albums by the above named. Here you go:

 
 

If you're really into it, HERE's some person giving a tutorial on how to build your own pagan altar. Comments for the video include such questions as "What is the knife thingy and do you know where I can buy one in Melbourne?"

Finally, while I've posted this amazing video before, it's serves as the best summary I can think of for this post: