Thursday, November 26, 2015

etymotic research

what it is: etymotic research
where i found it: a colleage

For years I've been struggling with screeching subways, howling preachers and beggars, and the bullshit conversations of hedge fund employees while on my way to a fro about the five boros. While the sounds of the street can be one of the great things about urban existence, sometimes one wishes to casp a cloak of silence upon the environs. For this I've found the perfect tool: Etymotic Research headphones. Like the bug in Star Trek 3, they nestle deep into your ear canal, blocking out the sounds around while broadcasting perfectly clear audio that needn't be blasted to compete with the jackhammers and verbose schizophrenics that surround you. And, the lower end models sound great without the inflated price tag or battery eating ways of Bose. Now I can hear a perfectly represented aural image of Bill Ward's drum set right in the center of my head and not have to listen to your crap. Happy Thanksgiving.


Wednesday, November 25, 2015

black antlers

what it is: black antlers
where i found it: the coil discography

I've been on a little bit of a Coil kick, trying to figure out which areas of their discography are worth mining. Today I've been enjoying the Black Antlers LP, though have mixed feelings about the song Sex with Sun Ra.

For fun, I took a look on Amazon to see if I could get a cheap copy of the Black Antlers CD. Nope, fucking $250. (?) But just below I came across this at a much more reasonable price:



-click on image to view details-

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

rips

The music world has lost three good ones over the past few weeks. Here I post some of their music.

#1
Moebius of Cluster, great German experimental band with a 40 year run under their belts. 


#2
Kyoko, first guitarist of female Boredoms off shoot OOIOO.


#3
Charanjat Singh, merger of ragas and disco jams, resulting in tripped out early "acid" house (like 1982 early). I'm pretty allergic to anything resembling dance club music, but this shit is good.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

bootleg

what it is: bootleg
where i found it: other metalheads

If you like Black Sabbath, this is a fucking great bootleg:

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

the nose game

what it is: the nose game
where i found it: nyc

Being in a mail order marriage with a Korean woman, I've been a little concerned about recent reports of a guy walking around NYC whacking Asian women's faces with a hard object wrapped in a plastic bag. As more details have emerged, the profile of the perpetrator has grown increasingly absurd and bizarre, with reports finally ending with his suicide several days ago.

I'm a little stumped as to what to write about this one. You can hunt down his blog, which presents a detailed relief map of his decent into madness, with postings of disjointed current events, photos of celebrities and his thoughts on why Asian women have spurned him for so long (the short of it: they don't like him because they're on cocaine, so if he smashes their noses they can no longer do blow, and will therefore like him). The blog ends with his eventual decent into suicide - it's pretty horrifying that this guy never got psychiatric care. I'll let you track it down on your own if you've got the stomach.

If you just want the digest version, which you do, here's the story provided by Gothamist.

I'll leave you with this quote:

"At first I thought I could get away with 1 Million Noses, but at 6th victim I felt a little discouraged"

---

UPDATE:

Further details emerge. The perpetrator could often be found in coffee shops, constructing bow ties while dressed in a graduation gown. Rumor has it that he sold one of these bow ties to Floyd Mayweather for $10K. He sold his sperm to make a living. And when they found his body at the bottom of an elevator shaft (he had tied a rope, one end around his neck, the other to the bottom of the elevator, so that someone would murder him unknowingly with the push of a button) he was garbed in a silver space suit.




Friday, June 12, 2015

RIP

ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!ornette coleman!!!
ornette coleman!!!

Friday, May 15, 2015

gimble and burden

RIP JOHNNY GIMBLE AND CHRIS BURDEN
One a mean-ass fiddle player and one a guy who nailed himself to a Volkswagen, both great Americans.


Thursday, May 7, 2015

broadcast to goats and potentially nobody

what it is: a broadcast to goats and potentially nobody
where i found it: scotland  

Check this out. The 2015 version is happening soon.

The third Dark. Outside. radio broadcast of music that nobody has heard before will be playing for 24 hours to a small audience of  goats, red kites, deer and assorted wildlife on Saturday 27th September 2014.

If you want to hear what is being broadcast then you will have to get to the vicinity of The Grey Mare’s Tail Bridge that goes over Palnure Burn in the vicinity of Talnotry in the Galloway Forest Dark Skies Park. 


See http://scotland.forestry.gov.uk/forest-parks/galloway-forest-park/talnotry if you believe we’re making up the names.

If you have music you would like broadcast in a forest to, potentially, no-one at all then send links or files, no longer than 30 minutes long to frenchbloke@gmail.com - Deadline is Monday the 22nd September.

The only rule is that it has to be previously unheard. Be they rejected remixes, demos, unreleased, from a forthcoming release, specially recorded, alternative versions… that sort of thing. As long as I can’t find any trace of it existing via a quick search on-line. ( no being available only in Sweden doesn’t count )

If that sounds like the type of thing you would be interested in get in touch.

Anything sent in will be deleted past the point of recovery after the broadcast. ( the first broadcast’s hard drive was wiped, beaten, burnt and then buried in my backgarden - I’ve since used the Gutmann Method - 35 pass wiping to destroy the tracks )

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

butch willis

what it is: butch willis
where i found it: podcast via soft abuse records

I'd never heard of this guy Butch Willis before, but he's plenty good. I don't know exactly what his trip is, maybe you can help me figure it out.  Every band should have a guy who rhythmically hits his throat.



Tuesday, April 28, 2015

sports iv

what it is: sports
where i found it: the south

As I keep saying, I don't give a shit about sports. But in combing through my old emails I found these pre-game dispatches from an old friend whose mental health suffers from an overabundance of southern college football. I don't know who any of these players are, but it really doesn't matter at all as long as I can hear things like that someone is a "prototypical pitch-a-bitch".

This is it. Composed and 20 lbs lighter, Richt brings the depthless
>dog package into sat. night with question marks. Curious to see the
>firework results to this week's chalk talk; the ice man should come
>out swingin with his side-wheelin monstro QB and gazelle recievers.
>They have a shitty secondary, so it would be possible to turn this
>thing into a laugher. But their defense should be ready for us. If
 >anything, we can unload on them with our seagoin O-line. Our size
 >will make their D-line quit the scene. Musa will be able to get
>behind their backers, he just needs to work on and watch out for the
>first open field move on the secondary and protect those nuts and
>bolts. He can afford a few good dings, but needs to watch out for
 >mid body safty hits. The offense should be able to hold them by the
 >balls, if we just dont get into such a damn hurry with that buffalo
>bill hurry up shit. If Greene can lead us down twice and go 14-0,
>look for Shockley to get a series. Defense-Van Gorder inherited a
 >more talented D last year and came up ratfuck at times. Shit, we
>are less talented this year as our meats outfit the NFL. Im tired
>of this fly-by-night, lemon defense! We have to gamble more.
>Simmons is a field general and will tear us a new one if he has time
>to set up in the pocket. How about them dawgs. I am real
 >interested to see whether Geathers(90) can fill where CG left off.
>Can he knock the props out from under them, and steal their thunder
>by being a prototypical, pitch-a-bitch, speed rush end. He has the
>first step, but can he land the haymaker on Simmons. Boss is the
 >suspected piece man to blitz underneath, we need to lower the boom
 >on them and gag those retard fans. Bottom line, if we cannot
>pressure Simmons, he will kill us with their gazelles. Let em have
>it with both barrels and trash their guy. When he does pass, we
>have to be in holes and corners. Curry (4) needs to watch out, if
 >he blows an assignment we are giving up points. Wrapped tight and
 >birds eye maple, he can become the big play saftey we need. Not
 >worried about them running the ball, the bang man Gilbert should be
>ready to tangle ass and work out on these assholes. We need strong
>play out of the depthless line. Let's hope hell pup Kedric Golston
>can keep that scrap heep o-line off our backers and smoke up their
>backfield with Pollack(47). Lets coldpack the tigers, and start
>this renwed rivalry by watchin them buckle under the fit to bust,
>sanford lights

Monday, April 27, 2015

sports iii

what it is: sports
where i found it: the south

As I keep saying, I don't give a shit about sports. But in combing through my old emails I found these pre-game dispatches from an old friend whose mental health suffers from an overabundance of southern college football. I don't know who any of these players are, but it really doesn't matter at all as long as I can hear things like that they're "goin smashgut at them".


I really hope the bulldogs realize that college football is not a
>game, but legalized mayhem. Amid the shitty loss last week in
>Charlottesville, the cocks look to rebound by keepin it simple.
>Offensively, we have to look for ways to break out of def.
>co-ordinator Charlie Strong's net (9.5 points in 2 years). One way
>is to toughen Musa up and get physical, goin smashgut at them.
>other than a menace end (Gause) and a piss-cutter noseman (Hughes),
 >they are small beer up front. A key will be keeping Hughes out of
>our backfield, which will be hard for our average center (56). The
 >entire left side of our o-line was poor tool versus Clemson. We
 >have got to get Musa diggin, as he seemed to get stuck before he
>could bag ass into the secondary. Their scheme calls for 5
>tweeners(linebacker/safety guys), so we have to devise a chicken
 >fight that will block them out en masse. And how about using
>Freddie vertically and stretch this thing out. If we go at ass
>backwards, they will jump all over us again. Defensively, like what
>I saw in Blue #17, he proved he is the big stick of the secondary.
>We must keep Brewer from being crude again, Shit! Will someone
 >please bung up this honky? Not to worried about the 26 year old
>lumox qb(4 turnovers last week). Wipin the place up with him oughta
>be neat! Van Gorder has a opportunity to go ape on this offense
>that is currently recieverless, using twists and such to "open 'er
>up" in their backfield. They are undertalented, so lets put it to
>em, dawgs!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

sports ii

what it is: sports
where i found it: the south

As I said yesterday, I generally I don't give a shit about sports. But in combing through my old emails I found these pre-game dispatches from an old friend whose mental health suffers from an overabundance of southern college football. I don't know who any of these players are, but it really doesn't matter at all as long as I can hear things like that they "indulgeth in too much grog and speaketh abominations".

>And lo, the People of the Dawg turned their eyes to
>the western wastes, where dwell they who call
>themselves the People of the Tide, though there are no
>oceans, for they are sorely confused about their
>habitat, like unto their mortal enemies the Tiger
>Eagles of the Jungle Plain. Alabama, being a desolate
 >land, haveth many geographical illusions. And being
>thus confused, and having no prophet of their own, the
>People of the Tide sendeth forth he who is surly when
>he indulgeth in too much grog and speaketh
 >abominations, saying that lo, the People of the Dawg
 >be not manly enough. Then he belcheth forth and
>passeth into a stupor, which rendereth him more
>likeable for a few hours, though equally smelly.
 >And the People of the Dawg heareth his mocking words,
 >and giveth forth a growl, and the holy hedges
>trembleth, and sacred Sanford quaketh, and somewhere
>Erk Russell spitteth forth lightning and emitteth
>thunder from his bowels. And Ooga, he who hunkereth,
>heareth also, and cryeth out, "Behold, People of the
 >Tide, ye who were once a fearsome race, marching forth
 >as the People of the Bear, a truly reeking but
>respectable horde. The Bear liveth no longer, except
>in limited edition lithographs, and ten thousand
>trailer park urchins bearing his name. Now thou art
>merely the People of the Tide, a leading laundry
>detergent, and ye speaketh forth of the Tide Rolling,
 >though neither oceans nor washing machines roll,
>neither do elephants, which belongeth in the Jungle,
 >which is where the Tiger Eagles dwell, for thou art a
>confused and vexing people, though Ooga liketh two or
>three of the comely cheerleader wenches, preferably at
 >the same time."
>Thou art not only a confused people but also a DOOMED
>one, for the People of the Dawg art a MANLY ENOUGH
 >People, and are summoned forth to prove out their
 >manliness on network television. And the People of the
 >Dawg shall bring forth their manliness upon the field
 >of battle, and your stadium shall fill with blood and
>the curdling shreiks of melon-bellied bubbas and
>big-haired trailer wenches until Ooga, the prophet,
>surfeth home on a Crimson Tide of thy seeping
>entrails. And Richt the Righteous, who is also manly
>enough, shall take a short break from being righteous
>to pulleth the heart from the chest of his vanquished
>foe, and eateth it before the television cameras, just
 >before the Dairy Queen commercial. And then the People
>of the Dawg shall proceed to the Jungle Plain, where
>dwelleth he who strappeth on no pads but talketh big
>about manliness, and the Big Dawg shall lift his leg
>and marketh him liquidly for territorial rights in
>November.
>And the Elephant People of the Crimson Ocean Detergent
 >shall return to their trailer parks, and changeth
>forth the diapers of young Bear VII and little
 >Bearina, and prayeth before their limited edition
 >lithographs that their Guardian Bear might come down
 >once more and protecteth them from the fury of a Dawg
 >who is surely MANLY ENOUGH. Amen.




Friday, April 24, 2015

sports

what it is: sports
where i found it: the south

Generally I don't give a shit about sports. But in combing through my old emails I found these pre-game dispatches from an old friend whose mental health suffers from an overabundance of southern college football. I don't know who any of these players are, but it really doesn't matter at all as long as I can hear things like that they're "powerful enough to trade punches with a power shovel".

Bulldogs vs. Crimson Tide: Aces Wild. The crunch is finally here as
>we find out what the Dawgs are all about. Offensively-No crappin
>out when it comes to keepin the human meat blizzard they have coming
>after Greene. Line coach Calloway needs to get our meat on the
>hoof(NCAA inspected) pass blocking so we have time to set up hot
>routes through their unproven secondary. That's our matchup-we
>can't run it on them, we must hang it up deep. They have 4 highly
>respected lugs on their line, which will make for a tough block.
>Knight is a sack o flower center, so running in the middle will not
>cut it, especially since Musa has become so ordinary. D co-ordinator
> Nascarl Torbush does a lot of motion stuff, which will make the
>effectiveness of our play-fake decline. Greene looks slow setting
>up, the ball is sticking to his hand, but still coming out like a
>shot without much arc. Christ! Let's face it, he's throwing a flat
>ball. Stop the seepage, let him set and find his man. Recievers
>need to gussy up their play. If I see Reggie Brown boob one more
>catch I will shoot my cookies. Gibson's 2 catch, 2 drop, fumble
>routine will not cut it either. I think Richt is having trouble
>getting him to buy into the whole shot. Fred, shake a leg and get
>moving downfield for points, Get the Lead out, man! These bums
>can't collar you. This is a big game so screw it on and don't fan on
>it! Richt, you need to tear it down, soup it up, and strip it for
>speed, Damnit. Hey Mark, Where in the hell are the yards?
>Defensively-Stacking against the run with top eliminators Boss and
>Gibert should make it tough for them to get much of a push. SS Tommy
>Davis (#10) has developed into a excellent run stopper and is tough
>enough to swap punches with a power shovel. Wailing on their running
>game will force them into passing miscues. Get down shitty with
 >these guys first crack out of the box,silence the crowd, I can
>assure you they wwill not run wild on us. Good news is that they
>will be without their punter, so field position will be on our side
>if we force supposed punts, Which almost sux becauese we need Gary
>to wiggle his returns up an down the field all day long on these
>damn cheaters! Whale the piss out of em dawgs and let's jam one up
>on this shitheap SEC west team! Holy Fuck, would that keep me happy.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

job opportunity

what it is: job opportunity
where i found it: indeed.com

Searching the job postings for music therapy positions this morning I came across this opportunity:

The Snuggery - Rochester, NY

Job responsibilities include meeting clients, explaining company policies and leading client through brief intake process, snuggling with clients, and remaking the bed after clients leave. The majority of your time will be spent snuggling with clients.
Bachelors degree is preferred. Fields such as psychology, social work, music and art therapy, and nursing are desirable but not required. Good people skills are necessary. Ability to communicate and maintain strong and healthy boundaries is also essential.
Compensation is $30 hourly. This is a part-time job opening.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

other ghettos

what it it: other ghettos
where i found it: spare time

I've been neglecting this here blog to assist in building a couple of other ghettos, largely Facebook based.

The first, NORTHERN DAMAGE, chronicles stuff of the local sort.

The second, ZAM, PSYCH, PROG, INDIE CONCLAVE, is more or less what it's name describes. It's super active right now, a river of unusual music flowing forth from the wellspring of (mostly) youtube.

If you're allergic to facebook you can just check out THIS PAGE with pictures of people holding baby Nicholas Cages.

Friday, March 27, 2015

?

what it is: ?
where i found it: brian from new jersey

Brian from New Jersey recently forwarded me the below videos. It's not hard to describe - people wearing really high end down jackets and leather and getting full on into slow paced mud wallowing - but it is very difficult to understand. I tried to find some info about this "trend", but I come up with nothing. The first questions I ask are: If you're sexually into mud why not wallow naked? Why cover yourself in costly full length garments? Is it cold mud, hence the need for down? What the fucking fuck?

 
 
 
 

These are just a few examples. If you google "moncler mud" mamy more appear.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

new painful hobby

what it is: new painful hobby
where i found it: a mountain

This Winter I've been stupid enough to take up the painful and expensive hobby of snowboarding. Nearly every weekend I've been hitting the ghetto ski resort up the road from my house, complete with two toilets for thousands of skiers, chair lifts that are rusted and missing bench slats, attendants that yell at you, Orthodox jews in full get up smashing into trees (I've seen this more than once) and abandoned, rotten buildings scattered around the property. I can't get enough of it. For the most part I've also learned that snowboarders are young, dumb, frequently head injured, and usually stoned. You have to be in order to fly off of mountains and slide down avalanches and shit.

When I'm home with ice packs on my knees I like to watch the below videos, the first consisting of superhuman snowboarding feats and the second showing the original Tahoe snowboard scene, which is superhardcore and much more interesting than modern snowboard culture (a pretty direct reflection of skateboarding). Here:




Monday, March 23, 2015

twenty trucks

what it is: twenty trucks
where i found it: my neighbor's kid

My kid and the neighbor's kid have discovered this series of weird truck videos that have been playing on loop around our house recently. While the videos are mostly just stock footage of bulldozers and shit, I'm highly curious who made this music. It's like a mish mash of 80s suicidal dark wave, booty bass and earnest broadway singing; like someone put Joy Division, Phillip Glass, 2Live Crew, a german, and Stephen Sondheim in a blender. I think this mixture of club-drugs-inspired sound and construction site machinery is a novel one. Here are a few of my favorites:





Note: what's also remarkable is how poorly targeted the ads that frequently appear on youtube are. This is particularly notable when you're watching kids videos. Last time I watched Excavator there was a political ad slinging mud at Andrew Cuomo realted to his fracking policies. Google, who owns youtube and knows everything about, us can certainly do better than this.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

we start with bolt cutters and end up with . . .

what it is: the derek tape
where i found it: alan from new jersey

While I heard plenty of the prank phone call tapes that floated around in the 90s and have meant to post some here for a while, the Derek Tape is new to me. If for some inexplicable reason you get bored with the story about the bolt cutters and the beat down ideation and dislike the real time silences, just hang in there, it really takes off towards the end. 

And here's some loosely related bonus matieral (lizard cartoon set to field recording of person free associating while on mushrooms):

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

more on moby

what it is: more on moby
where i found it: never ending loop of moby confusion

You might remember a poorly organized, somewhat confused couple of posts I did on Moby Grape's second album a year or two ago. As the restructuring of the Wow/Grape Jam LP continues to this day amongst the obsessed, message boards overbrim with Grape related lore. Here's a good excerpt recently forwarded to me:

 From a message board that skinny Frankie (grapes roadie) is on:
"donno if I would have called it an “incident” until after all that occurred (since people, girls mostly, were always giving me stuff to pass to the band) – but some girl came up to me, during the show and handed me a slip of paper and asked me to give it to skip. it said “skip Spence, skip Spence, sitting on a fence, which way you gonna go- Joanna wells” – I gave it to skip, he left with her and we didn’t see him for days, or more, next time I saw him was in bob Cato's office with her and during that meeting (after making loud remarks to skip as to how the members of the band were all against him) she grabbed a pair of scissors and tried to stab Bob Cato- I think Mosley was the one who “disarmed” her and she and skip left- next time I saw him he was at my door at the albert with a hatchet

Hopefully this puts you in the mood for some Skip

Monday, February 9, 2015

accomplishments

what it is: accomplishments
where i found it: florida

A little late on this, but here are  


Saturday, February 7, 2015

regular nyc afternoon

what it is: a regular nyc afternoon
where i found it: work

Being a resident of NYC, I sometimes have experiences that remind me that I'm a resident of NYC. My afternoon at work today provides an exemplary example. I started off after lunch providing guitar accompaniment for a room full of Hasidic Jews singing prayers around their rotund rabbi father. I then moved on the facilitating Mandarin karaoke with an 80 year Chinese old man. This was immediately followed by playing Johnny Cash and Eagles songs with a Wall Street investment banker. Then on to teaching Bach to an elderly Russian woman who had fled Russia as a small girl, abandoning her piano on the other side of the Iron Curtain and never having played since.Then on the subway ride home I was treated to a Harlem preacher spouting a homophobic rant while occasionally doing the splits (?!) for emphasis. No wonder it costs $100 an hour to live here.

P.S. And I get to look at one of THESE every morning.


Friday, February 6, 2015

more applause

I applaud the amount of time and work that went into this.




Thursday, February 5, 2015

dispatches from new jersey addendum

what it is: disptach addendum
where i found it: new jersey

Here's one more dispatch from New Jersey, but this one deserves a post of it's own. I applaud the depth of research that went into this.

Papa Jo Jones 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrKShqNkcnI&index=2&list=RDfIPIc3bkYoc

Philly Joe Jones

Elvin Jones

Rufus "Speedy" Jones

Papa Jo Solo 32

Philly Joe #2

Willie Jones I, couldn't find any live footage, but he seems like he was the go to replacement when Max Roach was not available.

Willie Jones III

Rusty Jones

Who did I leave out?

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

dispatches from new jersey

what it is: dispatches
where i found it: new jersey

I've been in the process of cleaning up my inbox and I keep finding dispatches from New Jersey, usually alerting me to often-metal related bullshit. Without futher commentary, here are three of my favorites:

I know no one cares but  . . . about a year ago members of Queensryche got in a fist fight with the lead singer on stage in Sao Paulo. Since then, they formed two bands both called... Queensryche! One has the singer and Rudy Sarzo, the other with the old instrumentalists. There is queensryche.com and queensrycheofficial.com and both bands just put out records; 2 different records, 2 different bands, both called Queensryche. Promoters are booking the band and don' know which one they're booking. The band with the old members are not showing up to booked gigs, etc.

 Did you guys see this? NASA posts a huge library of space sounds, and you're free to use them.
 



Here are a different type of dispatches from New Jersey - little clips of everyone's favorite orator, Chris Christie. Don't like what he's saying, but I like the way he says it and that he's not afraid to tell people to fuck off. 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

please allow me to complain bitterly for a moment about how atrocious microsoft is

what it is: complaining bitterly about how atrocious microsoft is
where i found it: a new computer


I guess it is no secret that Microsoft sucks. But please allow me to complain bitterly for a moment.

My wife bought a new computer. It comes with Windows 8, which is some kind of ghetto programming attempt to make something that's kind of like a ipad, but has none of the functionality of an ipad. Pulling the computer out of the box one would it expect it to boot right up and work beautifully. Yet Microsoft and HP (not specific to this manufacturer) have loaded the thing with so much bloatware/adware/malware that you can't open the internet without at least ten (I am not exaggerating) browser windows of adds covering the page you're trying to see. When you close one, it opens three or four more, rendering the machine all but inoperable. I go to uninstall this bullshit, spending two hours getting rid of one program after another. The machine starts working. Five minutes later the fucking programs re-install themselves. I uninstall them again, which is hard because they're all named shit like Wincleaner and Win System Optimizer, which sounds like something that you would need. In one instance, I uninstalled one of these programs and in retaliation it installed SEVEN more programs. After two rounds and a bunch of visits to the internet for advice I finally got these obliterated. The machine seems to be working, but . . .

Then come the issues with the user account. To access your computer you now have to have a Microsoft account, which tries to force you again and again to merge all of your accounts - Skype, Google, Apple, Facebook, whatever, with your Windows account. And you can't use these services without forking over your user names and passwords to Windows. And the traditional versions of those softwares don't work on the machine. So either merge all of your accounts with Microsoft or do not compute.

Then there are task bars and search bars and "apps" all over the thing that have nothing to do with your interests or inclinations or way that anyone would ever want to use a computer. Working in a large organization myself, I can understand how idiocy and confusion become perpetuated and systemized, but Google and Facebook and Apple seem to be able to at least seduce you into your own slavery in a somewhat appealing way.

What Microsoft seems to be doing here is committing suicide by making everything so unpleasant and atrocious. Not only are PCs outdated, but they are making their own continued use even more annoying than they ever have been. In basic Windows they had a product that worked and became the standard for every business machine out there and now we have devolved to this.  I'll stick with my 2003 Oldsmobile running the functioning, but long since abandoned XP.

Maybe none of this is surprising considering that THIS is the guy running the show over there.

--------

As an addendum I'd like to include here some excerpts of comments harvested from Skype message boards. Skype was a well functioning respectable application, that is until they were bought out by Microsoft. Guess what, now they suck. See what hate filled recent users are saying about them:


This kind of system fascism shouldn't ever be accepted or even allowed for an operating system . . . Blood boiling, this. . . . you're not that important skype. Get out of my way and stop trying to outsmart me. All of windows 8 is like this . . . This is so typical for your company. You don't get that you have to create INCENTIVES for people to do what you want, you cannot force them to. Why don't you ever learn . . . why are you taking everything amazing out of it and making it more and more annoying to use  . . . I can't remember ever being so frustrated with a program that used to be so simple- I can't find the icons, I can't find a save button for making changes, I can't follow any of the guides because they seem to be written for a completely different program than the one I am using!! I HATE Skype!!  . . .Skype is total trash.





Wednesday, January 7, 2015

making shit men on saturday afternoon

what it is: making shit men on a saturday afternoon
where i found it: dragonslayer, star wars, robocop, etc.

HERE's an interesting profile on Phil Tippet, father to many creatures, who likes to make shit men on Saturday afternoons.

dinsosaur supervisor

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

be kind to the black messiah

what it is: be kind to the black messiah
where i found it: the holidays

Over the holidays I've been in an endless spiral, ever deepening and consisting of the latest Swans and D'Angelo albums. While these two works might seem to have little in common, both artists are fortunate to have never been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Taunts of "I'm a little boy! I'm not a human!" and weird, distorted, incomprehensible overdubbed voices dance in my head at night. Instruments that make no sense with each other mock me. Samples of horses screaming mixed with excerpts like "Jesus had hair like lambs wool!"won't leave me in peace. Someone please help.

Both of these albums really need to be listened to in full, multiple times, for them to really sink in or for aspects of their odd logic to emerge, but here are a couple of excerpts anyway:

 
 
 

Monday, January 5, 2015

beer is the answer

what it is: beer is the answer
where i found it: virginia


I just returned from a Winter trip to Virginia, which continues to evolve as an improbable beer paradise. New breweries are opening each minute and brewers have put together a strong lobby to change beer making laws across the land. Go Virginia. Above is pictured the new brewpub, Beer is the ANswer, opened by a beer loving Vietnamese dude named An who has drunkenly branched out from the pho he's been serving for twenty some years. My brother in law took his employees there for a holiday lunch and An gave the Virginians un-used to these strong liquids so many samples that one of them needed to be taken to the hospital.

Other hi-lights include the Licking Hole, which is in the middle of fucking nowhere, but grows most of the ingredients served in their delicious beers.

the road to licking hole
Also of note, but in a more industrial setting are Hardywood and Ardent breweries, fermenting excellent beers amongst warehouses, crackheads, and late night drag racing high school kids.

the scenic facade that will become ardent

Others not to be missed include Devil's Backbone, Midnight, Center of the Universe, Blue Mountain, and the old school Legend of downtown Richmond. Finely crafted drunken-ness apparently makes life in Richmond - capitol of the Confederacy and home town of Gwar - more tolerable.

lee
r.i.p.