Monday, April 27, 2015

sports iii

what it is: sports
where i found it: the south

As I keep saying, I don't give a shit about sports. But in combing through my old emails I found these pre-game dispatches from an old friend whose mental health suffers from an overabundance of southern college football. I don't know who any of these players are, but it really doesn't matter at all as long as I can hear things like that they're "goin smashgut at them".

I really hope the bulldogs realize that college football is not a
>game, but legalized mayhem. Amid the shitty loss last week in
>Charlottesville, the cocks look to rebound by keepin it simple.
>Offensively, we have to look for ways to break out of def.
>co-ordinator Charlie Strong's net (9.5 points in 2 years). One way
>is to toughen Musa up and get physical, goin smashgut at them.
>other than a menace end (Gause) and a piss-cutter noseman (Hughes),
 >they are small beer up front. A key will be keeping Hughes out of
>our backfield, which will be hard for our average center (56). The
 >entire left side of our o-line was poor tool versus Clemson. We
 >have got to get Musa diggin, as he seemed to get stuck before he
>could bag ass into the secondary. Their scheme calls for 5
>tweeners(linebacker/safety guys), so we have to devise a chicken
 >fight that will block them out en masse. And how about using
>Freddie vertically and stretch this thing out. If we go at ass
>backwards, they will jump all over us again. Defensively, like what
>I saw in Blue #17, he proved he is the big stick of the secondary.
>We must keep Brewer from being crude again, Shit! Will someone
 >please bung up this honky? Not to worried about the 26 year old
>lumox qb(4 turnovers last week). Wipin the place up with him oughta
>be neat! Van Gorder has a opportunity to go ape on this offense
>that is currently recieverless, using twists and such to "open 'er
>up" in their backfield. They are undertalented, so lets put it to
>em, dawgs!